its-a me twerkio
saddumbgirl: cute messages make me instinctively hide my face in my hands and fall to one side on my bed
danlhowell: accurate representation of my life
homleschapel: summer is real cute until every fuckin type of insect comes out of the 8th circle of hell
stephaniesearches: Donde, está, la biblioteca. Me llamo T-Bone La araña discoteca. Discoteca, muñeca, La biblioteca Está en bigotes grandes, el perro, manteca. Manteca, bigotes, gigante, pequeño, la cabeza es nieve, cerveza es bueno. Buenos dias, me gusta papas frías, los bigotes de la cabra Es Cameron Diaz. Yea boi. Boi. Yeah. What. It’s 2009. Word.
themorenainbee: one of my greatest goals in life is to successfully teach someone else how to believe in him/herself
vvierd: IF YOU CANT HANDLE ME AT MY WORST i dont blame u neither can i
that awkward moment when you want to be friends with one of your friends on facebook but you’re not that kind of facebook friend u feel me
Dowager Countess of Fandom and Stick Figures:... →
sconesforjustice: 6stronghands: pinstripebindi: miracle mile. if the nukes are coming, i definitely don’t want to know. sexy beast. ben kingsley’s performance makes me feel like i’m being beaten with a sock full of batteries. your turn. I’d rather be scraped with a lemon…
Unka Glen: The other stuff about dating →
unkaglen: catholedigger asked: Hey Unka Glen! I’ve been struggling a little bit with the topic of romantic love. What’s the difference between loving someone like I should love any other person, and liking someone romantically in addition to loving them? Besides physical attraction, I can think of…
tellerknowles: does anybody else have that friend that you’re pretty sure is your soulmate but in a friend way
bornofthespirit: Earlier in Walmart I walked around for a bit and I was like “DANG WHERE ALL THE CUTIES AT SON?” I was looking for the little clementines, but I don’t think the people who gave me weird looks got that.
tyleroakley: zombiegenocidest: ACCURATE. ...
me: i like that
me: *looks at price tag*
me: i don't like that anymore
We [Fraction and his wife, Kelly Sue DeConnick] were pregnant at the time, and...– Writer Matt Fraction on his role on expanding the profile of female characters in the Marvel Universe. (via goodmanw)
brb can’t breathe from the kitchen nightmares reblog X”’D
satdeshret: dewognatos: ...
marielikestodraw: pahnem: mercuriesrising: aparticularlygoodfinder: Go to Starbucks. Order coffee for “Prisoner 24601” When they call out your order, jump up and yell “My name is Jean Valjean!” And if the barista replies with “AND I’M JAVERT,” you tip that motherfucker so hard you tip them right over the edge of a bridge you fucking didn’t oh my god.
1950s lyrics: splishin and a-splashin, one time i was splishin and a-splashin. ooh, i was movin and a-groovin. yeah, i was splishin and a-splashin.
1960s lyrics: he hit me and it felt like a kiss. he hit me and i knew he loved me. if he didn't care for me, i could have never made him mad. but he hit me and i was glad.
1970s lyrics: my ding-a-ling, my ding-a-ling, i want to play with my ding-a-ling. my ding-a-ling, my ding-a-ling, i want to play with my ding-a-ling.
2012 lyrics: i'm pimpin where i'm winnin, thats just how i’m chillin. i'm smokin grits and sellin chickens, corvette painted lemons.
EVERY DECADE HAS BAD LYRICS NOW GET OVER YOURSELVES YOU INSUFFERABLE DOUCHEBAGS
psilentasincjelli: If I ever tell you I’m going to sleep and then you see me posting or liking things online for about an hour immediately after that, I promise I wasn’t lying to you, I’m just bad at going to sleep and it is usually a long process that begins with disengaging from any sort of immediate contact with people (chats, for example) and ends when everything on my screen is blurry and...
grantaire-dont-care: dancing queen young and sweet only sewenteen
internetfeet: People mistake ovulation and menstruation to be the same thing when in fact they aren’t Ovulation is when the eggs are saying “hello friends I am here” And menstuation is when the eggs are saying “goodbye friends I am gone”
internetexplorers: we could be married with like 4 kids and i’d still be too scared to text you first