iamnerdhearmednd:

Any control I thought I had
just slips right through my hands,
While my ever-present conscience
shakes its head and reprimands me.

the-real-seebs:

stand-up-comic-gifs:

He’s just mad because he can’t acquire all the apple juice that I’m acquiring. (x)

That is a very powerful story. Also, that really is an incredible price on apple juice.

inmypastlife:

poshxspice:

subject13fringe:

montypythonandtheholyblog:

today I learned that if you want to slash someone’s tires, don’t slash all four; only slash three because if you slash all four their insurance will pay for it but if you only slash three they have to pay for it all out of pocket 

image

today on satan makes a blog post

Ahahha oh my god

lacigreen:

micdotcom:

Forget the spreadsheet, here’s an easy flowchart to know if a women owes you sex

Microsoft Excel took a turn for the explicit this week when the Internet learned the once-innocuous office tool was being used in a dispiriting new bro-trend: using the software to track of the number of times their partners refuse sex. Yes, #sexspreadsheets are a thing, presumably because some men still believe that owning of a penis entitles them to unlimited sexy times.
Sorry, guys, that’s just not the way the world works | Follow micdotcom 


sometimes i just cant believe this is the 21st century

lacigreen:

micdotcom:

Forget the spreadsheet, here’s an easy flowchart to know if a women owes you sex

Microsoft Excel took a turn for the explicit this week when the Internet learned the once-innocuous office tool was being used in a dispiriting new bro-trend: using the software to track of the number of times their partners refuse sex. Yes, #sexspreadsheets are a thing, presumably because some men still believe that owning of a penis entitles them to unlimited sexy times.

Sorry, guys, that’s just not the way the world works | Follow micdotcom 

sometimes i just cant believe this is the 21st century

lacigreen:

joponyhere:

lillianloverly:

THIS IS A PSA

THIS APP IS CALLED SAFETREK AND IS ABSOLUTELY INVALUABLE TO ANYONE WALKING ANYWHERE WHERE THEY DONT FEEL SAFE

YOU ENTER YOUR INFO AND SET A PIN AND THEN WHENEVER YOU DONT FEEL SAFE, YOU HOLD DOWN THE BLUE BUTTON UNTIL YOU DO

ONCE YOU RELEASE THE BUTTON, YOU HAVE 10 SECONDS TO ENTER YOUR PIN, AND IF YOU DONT THE POLICE WILL BE NOTIFIED OF YOUR LOCATION AND DISTRESS CALL

I TRULY BELIEVE THIS APP CAN HELP SOMEONE OUT THERE SO PLEASE DOWNLOAD IT

https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/safetrek/id716262008?mt=8

signal boost the shit out of this

THIS IS AMAZING SPREAD THE WORD

have you ever been so wildly attracted to someone you can actually feel it driving you insane

laughhard:

I never noticed this.

laughhard:

I never noticed this.

olanrogers:

Day 3 Star Wars cockpit construction! Still have a lot to do to it but really happy how this thing is turning out! #thescarletlance #bufferfestival
332

olanrogers:

Day 3 Star Wars cockpit construction! Still have a lot to do to it but really happy how this thing is turning out! #thescarletlance #bufferfestival

star-trek-comics:

to celebrate 1000 followers we enter anime style now

bumble-babe:

missl0nelyhearts:

148km:

snapesgrudge:

snapesgrudge:

medvezhka:

snapesgrudge:

mentethemage:

the ultimate bff necklace

 #and nine #nine were given to the race of Men #who above all else #desire pizza

 #lord of the pizzas: fellowship of the slice #lord of the pizzas: the two toppings #lord of the pizzas: return of the breadsticks

 #one calzone to rule them all

 #one does not simply walk into the low-cal calzone zone

#they’re taking the hobbits to pizza hut



I dont have that many friends
faketual:

Putting a dinosaur does not make up for it Google Chrome

faketual:

Putting a dinosaur does not make up for it Google Chrome

Before u make fun of someone’s foreign accent, take some time to think about how they speak more languages than u and how u are a failure

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